The Road to Regulation

Emotions, regardless of how pleasant or unpleasant they feel, have a role to play in our experience. Emotions are a form of communication, motivation, and information and they influence our thoughts. It is very beneficial to acknowledge and hold space for our emotions to understand their message. Think of emotions like an alarm clock, we can hit the snooze button again and again, but the alarm will continue to go off, if we let it beep how long can we tolerate the repetitive noise before we show a big reaction? Often, we are in charge of setting this alarm or we know it is going to go off but that doesn’t make it less jarring or sudden.

Notice your emotions. Big feelings are normal, when important events happen our emotions can be more intense. However, regular intense emotions can cause exhaustion, conflict, or unhealthy urges.

Sit with those emotions. Accept their existence and let them take up space for a moment. Where do they sit in your body? What physical shifts do you notice? How do they change your body state?

Accept and process them. Emotions are often described as waves; they will come into your body and move on. Sometimes this is heavy and sudden, one feeling seems all encompassing and sometimes it’s a brief shift and then you’re onto the next feeling. Listen to a sad song – write an angry letter – jump around with excitement – slowly sip a warm drink. Feel those feelings!

Write out the accompanying thoughts. Journalling the thoughts that surround emotions can help us understand the narrative that we have created. Are there other versions of this story? Are you engaging in unhelpful thinking? What facts or truths are missing from your thinking?

Regulate and recover. Often big emotions cause an energy or adrenaline shift in our bodies which can escalate or exhaust our body. Use some deep breathing, feel the flow of air in through your nostrils, and sigh it out through your mouth, how does your body feel? Slowly tense and relax the muscle groups in your body, starting at your toes and ending with your facial muscles. Can you notice tension melting away?

Create distance. Once you’re regulated it is helpful to do something to take your mind off that big emotional event you just experienced, remind yourself you can control your experience. Play with your pet, go for a walk, make your favorite snack or watch a funny movie.

Reconnect with your support networks. You are not alone; others are experiencing shifts and changes in their emotions too. Organizing catch ups with a friend or calling family on the phone can provide you reassurance and support, by hearing about their experiences or asking for advice.

Consider professional support. If you’re feeling like your emotions are always too big or too much, seeking out therapeutic services can be highly beneficial. We’re here to help you help yourself.